| Your Inner Child Is Scared |
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Monday, October 24
My Inner Child is What??????
Glad these tests are just for fun...
It's Not Funny But I Laughed Anyway!
This morning when I decided to clean out one my favorites folders I discovered a link to a blog that I must've visited once but never bothered visiting again. Below is one post that I found kinda funny. Mind you: the authors name is Shawn but in no way are he and I the same person
Be Real Behind Your PC Screen!
Filed under:General Worst Date— Shawn @ 6:30 am
Damn! And I just told myself that I would stop cussing six days, 4 hours, and 3 glasses of red kool-aid ago. With that being said…DAMN AGAIN! Why would one sit here and portray themselves in certain manner behind their computer screen that they know DAMN well they could never live up to face to face.
Yeah, I’m a dater…not really looking for anything. I’m at that stage right now that if I can get a nice woman to accompany me out for a great night, have dinner, catch a movie, stroll the park, or any such thing, then I have accomplished my main goal. “ENJOY LIFE!” If we become good friends, good…if we become great friends, GREAT! If I happen to find that perfect match that I can see my future with, then that is well accepted…but I AM NOT LOOKING FOR THAT!
Lately, I have been using an online dating site that has proven to be quite refreshing. I have been meeting a lot of great people, and even a few offline. The women that are crossing my path seem to be very well rounded and focused…but that’s just the good part.
The Rotten Apple that ruined the crop! Yes, she sends me a picture, and she looks nice. She has an extended education and seems to have her direction in life chosen. I should have known that something was wrong when she said she didn’t have a car. LOL, I know that sounds mean, but this is the first time in 2 years that I met someone who didn’t have their own wheels. Especially in Atlanta. The women here make me want to step my game up.
I guess the next warning sign that I should have paid attention to was the fact that she seemed almost desperate to meet up with me….TONIGHT! It was a Tuesday, and this was our first time talking on the phone, and the time is about 9:30 pm. I wouldn’t be free to go get her until after 10:30; so we couldn’t actually meet up until about 11.
To be honest, after I told her this, I was almost certain that she would have declined, only to try to meet on a different day…but she actually ummmm pleaded with me to make it work tonight.
LESSON #1, Never Think With Your PENIS! It Clogs your brain cells ability to be rational…..LOL
Yeah, I will admit, I thought she was just trying to get some, and who was I to deprive her from that OOOOH AHHH SOUND!
The Meeting- Here I am driving to pick this girl up. The Clark Atlanta Graduate just weeks away from receiving her Master’s literally struggled to give me accurate directions to her house. I mean, I was on M.L. King, I told her what gas station I was on, and asked if I needed to turn left or right…..She said left…I drove for a while, didn’t see any of the land marks she told me of, and asked her if I needed to turn around…"umm yes” “Umm No” “Umm Wait A minute” At this point, I was just gonna get back on 20 west and take my ass home.
She finally gets her act together, and I find her place of residence. She says she will be out in just a few, so I was like okay. Out of the darkness of the shadows, I see her making her way….BUT UMMMM, WHAT IS THAT?
ADVISORY WARNING: This is a very blunt point being made, it may sound mean, but it is very much true! If you think you may be offended, please leave now!
This Mutha Fucka is Crippled! Not that I’m shallow, or that I have any such prejudices towards those who have physical handicaps, but DAMN! That isn’t something that you forget to tell someone you meet online. You don’t just walk out like everything is okay. The Shit isn’t okay!
You are a deceiver! You intentionally neglected to share that you had a very noticeable handicap, in order to save your feelings. I will admit, She needs love too…but let me decide if I would like to persue you in that interest upfront.
She wanted to go out to a Cafe’ or something, and I was like hell nah! Was I too embarrassed? YES! I don’t know her, and I didn’t expect this. Too bad the inner nice guy in me prevented me from cussing her ass out. Trust, I am empathetic towards her situation, but in the manner that she is addressing the issue, she is bound to receive more pain than naught.
And Yes, She was trying to get her freak on, and Me, Mr. Shawn could not, and would not do it. It made me cringe just from the thought.
ADDITIONAL VISUAL: I can’t remember the name of this bone deformaty…but with it, your spinal cord isnt straight. With her, her right leg was very noticeably shorter than the left, and she had a acute twist in the hips from her crooked back.
When she walked, she tried not to let me be behind, so she would stop purposely to let me stay in front, AS IF SHE COULD HIDE IT THAT WAY.
My thing is this, Be real with those you encounter, it will only save you face in the end. Now, Im not saying I would have romantic interests in her if she was up front, but if she was, I may have chose to continue chatting with her and being friends.
Final Thought: It is each individuals choice in what they want in a mate. Me, I just don’t see myself entering into a relationship with someone in this deformed state. It would be a different story if I was with someone, and they then become deformed….THE LOVE IS ALREADY THERE.
My Only True Beef is this. Don’t deceive. True, she sent me a picture that look exactly how she actually looks…"STANDING NOT WALKING” She should have let me know of her situation, standing strong in herself, with her mind in such a state as such, ” Love it or Leave it!” She did not, because she chose not, and now I have no desire to interact with her in ANY way.
I wish I could have seen the look on his face when she first walked up. It must've been priceless.
Be Real Behind Your PC Screen!
Filed under:General Worst Date— Shawn @ 6:30 am
Damn! And I just told myself that I would stop cussing six days, 4 hours, and 3 glasses of red kool-aid ago. With that being said…DAMN AGAIN! Why would one sit here and portray themselves in certain manner behind their computer screen that they know DAMN well they could never live up to face to face.
Yeah, I’m a dater…not really looking for anything. I’m at that stage right now that if I can get a nice woman to accompany me out for a great night, have dinner, catch a movie, stroll the park, or any such thing, then I have accomplished my main goal. “ENJOY LIFE!” If we become good friends, good…if we become great friends, GREAT! If I happen to find that perfect match that I can see my future with, then that is well accepted…but I AM NOT LOOKING FOR THAT!
Lately, I have been using an online dating site that has proven to be quite refreshing. I have been meeting a lot of great people, and even a few offline. The women that are crossing my path seem to be very well rounded and focused…but that’s just the good part.
The Rotten Apple that ruined the crop! Yes, she sends me a picture, and she looks nice. She has an extended education and seems to have her direction in life chosen. I should have known that something was wrong when she said she didn’t have a car. LOL, I know that sounds mean, but this is the first time in 2 years that I met someone who didn’t have their own wheels. Especially in Atlanta. The women here make me want to step my game up.
I guess the next warning sign that I should have paid attention to was the fact that she seemed almost desperate to meet up with me….TONIGHT! It was a Tuesday, and this was our first time talking on the phone, and the time is about 9:30 pm. I wouldn’t be free to go get her until after 10:30; so we couldn’t actually meet up until about 11.
To be honest, after I told her this, I was almost certain that she would have declined, only to try to meet on a different day…but she actually ummmm pleaded with me to make it work tonight.
LESSON #1, Never Think With Your PENIS! It Clogs your brain cells ability to be rational…..LOL
Yeah, I will admit, I thought she was just trying to get some, and who was I to deprive her from that OOOOH AHHH SOUND!
The Meeting- Here I am driving to pick this girl up. The Clark Atlanta Graduate just weeks away from receiving her Master’s literally struggled to give me accurate directions to her house. I mean, I was on M.L. King, I told her what gas station I was on, and asked if I needed to turn left or right…..She said left…I drove for a while, didn’t see any of the land marks she told me of, and asked her if I needed to turn around…"umm yes” “Umm No” “Umm Wait A minute” At this point, I was just gonna get back on 20 west and take my ass home.
She finally gets her act together, and I find her place of residence. She says she will be out in just a few, so I was like okay. Out of the darkness of the shadows, I see her making her way….BUT UMMMM, WHAT IS THAT?
ADVISORY WARNING: This is a very blunt point being made, it may sound mean, but it is very much true! If you think you may be offended, please leave now!
This Mutha Fucka is Crippled! Not that I’m shallow, or that I have any such prejudices towards those who have physical handicaps, but DAMN! That isn’t something that you forget to tell someone you meet online. You don’t just walk out like everything is okay. The Shit isn’t okay!
You are a deceiver! You intentionally neglected to share that you had a very noticeable handicap, in order to save your feelings. I will admit, She needs love too…but let me decide if I would like to persue you in that interest upfront.
She wanted to go out to a Cafe’ or something, and I was like hell nah! Was I too embarrassed? YES! I don’t know her, and I didn’t expect this. Too bad the inner nice guy in me prevented me from cussing her ass out. Trust, I am empathetic towards her situation, but in the manner that she is addressing the issue, she is bound to receive more pain than naught.
And Yes, She was trying to get her freak on, and Me, Mr. Shawn could not, and would not do it. It made me cringe just from the thought.
ADDITIONAL VISUAL: I can’t remember the name of this bone deformaty…but with it, your spinal cord isnt straight. With her, her right leg was very noticeably shorter than the left, and she had a acute twist in the hips from her crooked back.
When she walked, she tried not to let me be behind, so she would stop purposely to let me stay in front, AS IF SHE COULD HIDE IT THAT WAY.
My thing is this, Be real with those you encounter, it will only save you face in the end. Now, Im not saying I would have romantic interests in her if she was up front, but if she was, I may have chose to continue chatting with her and being friends.
Final Thought: It is each individuals choice in what they want in a mate. Me, I just don’t see myself entering into a relationship with someone in this deformed state. It would be a different story if I was with someone, and they then become deformed….THE LOVE IS ALREADY THERE.
My Only True Beef is this. Don’t deceive. True, she sent me a picture that look exactly how she actually looks…"STANDING NOT WALKING” She should have let me know of her situation, standing strong in herself, with her mind in such a state as such, ” Love it or Leave it!” She did not, because she chose not, and now I have no desire to interact with her in ANY way.
I wish I could have seen the look on his face when she first walked up. It must've been priceless.
Fantasy Football Blues
I'm just plain embarassed. I have suffered another lost in Fantasy Football at the hands of yet another "computer" with an 0-5 record. To add salt to the wound I got blown out by 20 points. I have become the also ran of my league. I don't know how I can stop the bleeding but losing 3 in a row has me reeling.
Wednesday, October 19
I've Always Wanted...
...to play the guitar Sterling, my Godson, tells me over the phone after asking me to buy him a guitar for music lessons being offered at his school.
Why is this the first I am hearing about this?
I don't know. I've wanted to play since I was 5...no no 6. Yea...at first I wanted to play drums but now I want to play guitar.
Is that right?
Yea...so can you buy me one before Thursday?
Before Thursday? What? Why Sterling?
Music class is on Thursday and I already missed one class.
Why didn't you tell me you wanted a guitar sooner? Your birthday just passed. The guitar coulda been your birthday present.
Mmm...I don't know. Uncky Shawn, if you buy me a guitar I want a blue one or a green one.
Oh my god! Where's your mom?
Right here!
Ok. Put her on the phone.
His mom giggles as she answers the phone Hello!
Albra, music lessons? Oh lord. Why are y'all calling me at the least minute. You know I hate that.
They just sent the flyer home on Tuesday or Wednesday.
Sterling can be heard in the background screaming Tell Uncky Shawn I need to go with him to pick it up.
That boy is crazy Albra!
That's your Godson.
I agreed to buy Sterling his guitar. However, I wasn't the happiest about the situation. I hate feeling pressured to buy something hurriedly I am unfamiliar with without having the time to research the item. I don't like looking or sounding like I have "sucker" written on my forehand when I deal with salespersons. And I like to look for deals and discounts whenever possible.
On Wednesday I go to Sterling's house to pick him up for our guitar expedition. Before we leave, I make Sterling agree to sign a contract which stipulates that he'll practice his guitar X number of days for X minutes a day a week or the guitar will be repossessed. He was a little put off for a minute but he agreed.
The first store we went into he was bouncing off the wall pointing and touching dang near every guitar. He saw a blue guitar (I had already explained to him blue was out of the question because most acoustic guitars are pine colored and that's the one he needed to use to learn how to play) and really got happy. Oooo Oooo a blue one Uncky Shawn. The blue guitar was an acoustic guitar so I looked at the price tag. $379. Umm...Sterling. This one cost too much. Sorry! No blue one. He quickly decided on another guitar that the salesman was talking up. But I wanted to feel like I was bargain shopping and didn't want to buy the first thing I saw so I told the salesman thanks and let him know we'd be back if we didn't find anything else with a better price.
As we were walking around the corner and down the street opposite of where we had parked Sterling dejectedly quizzed Where are we going now Uncky Shawn? To this guitar store right here Sterling I replied. The pep in his step picked up then.
Sterling got really starry eyed when he saw all the guitars inside The Guitar Center. Quickly a sales associate latched on to us and went about his business of highlighting the pros of buying the guitar he recommended that best fit my price range. After a little hemming and hawing I told him we'd take it. Suspiciously, Sterling was very quiet throughout most of my exchange with this sales associate; so much so I had to ask him if he really wanted the guitar. A resounding yes was his reply.
Sterling decided that he had to carry his own guitar to the car. I really wish I had a picture. Using both hands he awkwardly carried the guitar on one side of his body while all his weight was leaning the opposite way. I could tell it was really heavy for him. I asked him if he wanted me to carry it but he refused my help. He then enthusiastically talked about his guitar. I have everything huh Uncky Shawn? I have a case. I have a DVD to watch to learn how to play. I have new strings. Yep, you sure do Sterling I replied.
No sooner than we'd walked in the door of his house Sterling had opened the box and taken everything out. He made a beeline to his room with his guitar and DVD in tow. He emerged a few minutes later to retrieve a sheet of paper and pencil so he could take notes. When the time came for him to sign his contract he came out of his room to show everyone what he had learned.
I guess a star is born. This kid is too much for the people.
By contract Sterling has agreed to practice 5 days a week for a minimun of 15 minutes per session. If not, the guitar will be repossessed by me.
We'll see how this goes.
Why is this the first I am hearing about this?
I don't know. I've wanted to play since I was 5...no no 6. Yea...at first I wanted to play drums but now I want to play guitar.
Is that right?
Yea...so can you buy me one before Thursday?
Before Thursday? What? Why Sterling?
Music class is on Thursday and I already missed one class.
Why didn't you tell me you wanted a guitar sooner? Your birthday just passed. The guitar coulda been your birthday present.
Mmm...I don't know. Uncky Shawn, if you buy me a guitar I want a blue one or a green one.
Oh my god! Where's your mom?
Right here!
Ok. Put her on the phone.
His mom giggles as she answers the phone Hello!
Albra, music lessons? Oh lord. Why are y'all calling me at the least minute. You know I hate that.
They just sent the flyer home on Tuesday or Wednesday.
Sterling can be heard in the background screaming Tell Uncky Shawn I need to go with him to pick it up.
That boy is crazy Albra!
That's your Godson.
I agreed to buy Sterling his guitar. However, I wasn't the happiest about the situation. I hate feeling pressured to buy something hurriedly I am unfamiliar with without having the time to research the item. I don't like looking or sounding like I have "sucker" written on my forehand when I deal with salespersons. And I like to look for deals and discounts whenever possible.
On Wednesday I go to Sterling's house to pick him up for our guitar expedition. Before we leave, I make Sterling agree to sign a contract which stipulates that he'll practice his guitar X number of days for X minutes a day a week or the guitar will be repossessed. He was a little put off for a minute but he agreed.
The first store we went into he was bouncing off the wall pointing and touching dang near every guitar. He saw a blue guitar (I had already explained to him blue was out of the question because most acoustic guitars are pine colored and that's the one he needed to use to learn how to play) and really got happy. Oooo Oooo a blue one Uncky Shawn. The blue guitar was an acoustic guitar so I looked at the price tag. $379. Umm...Sterling. This one cost too much. Sorry! No blue one. He quickly decided on another guitar that the salesman was talking up. But I wanted to feel like I was bargain shopping and didn't want to buy the first thing I saw so I told the salesman thanks and let him know we'd be back if we didn't find anything else with a better price.
As we were walking around the corner and down the street opposite of where we had parked Sterling dejectedly quizzed Where are we going now Uncky Shawn? To this guitar store right here Sterling I replied. The pep in his step picked up then.
Sterling got really starry eyed when he saw all the guitars inside The Guitar Center. Quickly a sales associate latched on to us and went about his business of highlighting the pros of buying the guitar he recommended that best fit my price range. After a little hemming and hawing I told him we'd take it. Suspiciously, Sterling was very quiet throughout most of my exchange with this sales associate; so much so I had to ask him if he really wanted the guitar. A resounding yes was his reply.
Sterling decided that he had to carry his own guitar to the car. I really wish I had a picture. Using both hands he awkwardly carried the guitar on one side of his body while all his weight was leaning the opposite way. I could tell it was really heavy for him. I asked him if he wanted me to carry it but he refused my help. He then enthusiastically talked about his guitar. I have everything huh Uncky Shawn? I have a case. I have a DVD to watch to learn how to play. I have new strings. Yep, you sure do Sterling I replied.
No sooner than we'd walked in the door of his house Sterling had opened the box and taken everything out. He made a beeline to his room with his guitar and DVD in tow. He emerged a few minutes later to retrieve a sheet of paper and pencil so he could take notes. When the time came for him to sign his contract he came out of his room to show everyone what he had learned.
I guess a star is born. This kid is too much for the people.
By contract Sterling has agreed to practice 5 days a week for a minimun of 15 minutes per session. If not, the guitar will be repossessed by me.
We'll see how this goes.
Tuesday, October 18
Help!!!!
Peyton Manning is killing my fantasy football team. Last season this man set the record for TDs thrown in a season. He was on fire. He threw 49 TDs in 16 games. That's a 3.06 TD avg per game. This season he's thrown 9 TDs through 7 games. That's a 1.2857 avg.
Thanks in part to Manning I have now slumped to a 3-3 record in my fantasy football league. Two consective weeks, I have been beaten by what I call computers, guys that signed up for fantasy football but haven't bothered to keep track of their teams.
Can somebody please help Manning find his mojo. Or better yet provide him with a map to the endzone. I need some freaking TDs.
Thanks in part to Manning I have now slumped to a 3-3 record in my fantasy football league. Two consective weeks, I have been beaten by what I call computers, guys that signed up for fantasy football but haven't bothered to keep track of their teams.
Can somebody please help Manning find his mojo. Or better yet provide him with a map to the endzone. I need some freaking TDs.
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