this is what you would have heard me saying:
1. I don't give a fuck if you're not alarmed that my check hasn't come. I didn't ask your thoughts. I asked you to call to see when the check was coming. A 30 day turn around might work for you but not for me. Are you fucking serious?
2. Please teach your child that crying and hollering will not get him whatever he wants. If he's mad that I stopped by for a visit "too fucking bad." Stop picking his little his spoiled ass up comforting him and asking "what's the matter?" just because he's screaming bloody murder. You know the matter.
I don't have children therefore I hold my tongue in your presence because I know how touchy you parents are about being advised on parenting, especially by a non-parent, but it needs to said "sit the little shit down, tell him 'no, stop, or whatever.' Holding and kissing him and making baby talk with him because he's upset that someone dropped by for a visit is just dumb. It reinforces his poor behavior."
3. Don't get a fucking attitude with me when I call to tell you that your creditor called me looking for yo' ass! Dumbass, you listed me as a reference. No, i'm not going to lie and tell them I don't know where you are. In fact, you keep up this bullshit and your new number and new address will be extended to the creditor.
4. Creditor, who the fuck are you? Don't call me with a nasty ass, belligerent attitude. I'm the reference not the account holder. What the hell you're calling me about is news to me. Give me a reason to help you. For starters, stop screaming in my ear. Next, stop acting like finding the account holder is a life and death matter for you; and finally, stop acting like I owe you the information. News flash: I don't know you.