Monday, October 24
Fantasy Football Blues
I'm just plain embarassed. I have suffered another lost in Fantasy Football at the hands of yet another "computer" with an 0-5 record. To add salt to the wound I got blown out by 20 points. I have become the also ran of my league. I don't know how I can stop the bleeding but losing 3 in a row has me reeling.
Wednesday, October 19
I've Always Wanted...
...to play the guitar Sterling, my Godson, tells me over the phone after asking me to buy him a guitar for music lessons being offered at his school.
Why is this the first I am hearing about this?
I don't know. I've wanted to play since I was 5...no no 6. Yea...at first I wanted to play drums but now I want to play guitar.
Is that right?
Yea...so can you buy me one before Thursday?
Before Thursday? What? Why Sterling?
Music class is on Thursday and I already missed one class.
Why didn't you tell me you wanted a guitar sooner? Your birthday just passed. The guitar coulda been your birthday present.
Mmm...I don't know. Uncky Shawn, if you buy me a guitar I want a blue one or a green one.
Oh my god! Where's your mom?
Right here!
Ok. Put her on the phone.
His mom giggles as she answers the phone Hello!
Albra, music lessons? Oh lord. Why are y'all calling me at the least minute. You know I hate that.
They just sent the flyer home on Tuesday or Wednesday.
Sterling can be heard in the background screaming Tell Uncky Shawn I need to go with him to pick it up.
That boy is crazy Albra!
That's your Godson.
I agreed to buy Sterling his guitar. However, I wasn't the happiest about the situation. I hate feeling pressured to buy something hurriedly I am unfamiliar with without having the time to research the item. I don't like looking or sounding like I have "sucker" written on my forehand when I deal with salespersons. And I like to look for deals and discounts whenever possible.
On Wednesday I go to Sterling's house to pick him up for our guitar expedition. Before we leave, I make Sterling agree to sign a contract which stipulates that he'll practice his guitar X number of days for X minutes a day a week or the guitar will be repossessed. He was a little put off for a minute but he agreed.
The first store we went into he was bouncing off the wall pointing and touching dang near every guitar. He saw a blue guitar (I had already explained to him blue was out of the question because most acoustic guitars are pine colored and that's the one he needed to use to learn how to play) and really got happy. Oooo Oooo a blue one Uncky Shawn. The blue guitar was an acoustic guitar so I looked at the price tag. $379. Umm...Sterling. This one cost too much. Sorry! No blue one. He quickly decided on another guitar that the salesman was talking up. But I wanted to feel like I was bargain shopping and didn't want to buy the first thing I saw so I told the salesman thanks and let him know we'd be back if we didn't find anything else with a better price.
As we were walking around the corner and down the street opposite of where we had parked Sterling dejectedly quizzed Where are we going now Uncky Shawn? To this guitar store right here Sterling I replied. The pep in his step picked up then.
Sterling got really starry eyed when he saw all the guitars inside The Guitar Center. Quickly a sales associate latched on to us and went about his business of highlighting the pros of buying the guitar he recommended that best fit my price range. After a little hemming and hawing I told him we'd take it. Suspiciously, Sterling was very quiet throughout most of my exchange with this sales associate; so much so I had to ask him if he really wanted the guitar. A resounding yes was his reply.
Sterling decided that he had to carry his own guitar to the car. I really wish I had a picture. Using both hands he awkwardly carried the guitar on one side of his body while all his weight was leaning the opposite way. I could tell it was really heavy for him. I asked him if he wanted me to carry it but he refused my help. He then enthusiastically talked about his guitar. I have everything huh Uncky Shawn? I have a case. I have a DVD to watch to learn how to play. I have new strings. Yep, you sure do Sterling I replied.
No sooner than we'd walked in the door of his house Sterling had opened the box and taken everything out. He made a beeline to his room with his guitar and DVD in tow. He emerged a few minutes later to retrieve a sheet of paper and pencil so he could take notes. When the time came for him to sign his contract he came out of his room to show everyone what he had learned.
I guess a star is born. This kid is too much for the people.
By contract Sterling has agreed to practice 5 days a week for a minimun of 15 minutes per session. If not, the guitar will be repossessed by me.
We'll see how this goes.
Why is this the first I am hearing about this?
I don't know. I've wanted to play since I was 5...no no 6. Yea...at first I wanted to play drums but now I want to play guitar.
Is that right?
Yea...so can you buy me one before Thursday?
Before Thursday? What? Why Sterling?
Music class is on Thursday and I already missed one class.
Why didn't you tell me you wanted a guitar sooner? Your birthday just passed. The guitar coulda been your birthday present.
Mmm...I don't know. Uncky Shawn, if you buy me a guitar I want a blue one or a green one.
Oh my god! Where's your mom?
Right here!
Ok. Put her on the phone.
His mom giggles as she answers the phone Hello!
Albra, music lessons? Oh lord. Why are y'all calling me at the least minute. You know I hate that.
They just sent the flyer home on Tuesday or Wednesday.
Sterling can be heard in the background screaming Tell Uncky Shawn I need to go with him to pick it up.
That boy is crazy Albra!
That's your Godson.
I agreed to buy Sterling his guitar. However, I wasn't the happiest about the situation. I hate feeling pressured to buy something hurriedly I am unfamiliar with without having the time to research the item. I don't like looking or sounding like I have "sucker" written on my forehand when I deal with salespersons. And I like to look for deals and discounts whenever possible.
On Wednesday I go to Sterling's house to pick him up for our guitar expedition. Before we leave, I make Sterling agree to sign a contract which stipulates that he'll practice his guitar X number of days for X minutes a day a week or the guitar will be repossessed. He was a little put off for a minute but he agreed.
The first store we went into he was bouncing off the wall pointing and touching dang near every guitar. He saw a blue guitar (I had already explained to him blue was out of the question because most acoustic guitars are pine colored and that's the one he needed to use to learn how to play) and really got happy. Oooo Oooo a blue one Uncky Shawn. The blue guitar was an acoustic guitar so I looked at the price tag. $379. Umm...Sterling. This one cost too much. Sorry! No blue one. He quickly decided on another guitar that the salesman was talking up. But I wanted to feel like I was bargain shopping and didn't want to buy the first thing I saw so I told the salesman thanks and let him know we'd be back if we didn't find anything else with a better price.
As we were walking around the corner and down the street opposite of where we had parked Sterling dejectedly quizzed Where are we going now Uncky Shawn? To this guitar store right here Sterling I replied. The pep in his step picked up then.
Sterling got really starry eyed when he saw all the guitars inside The Guitar Center. Quickly a sales associate latched on to us and went about his business of highlighting the pros of buying the guitar he recommended that best fit my price range. After a little hemming and hawing I told him we'd take it. Suspiciously, Sterling was very quiet throughout most of my exchange with this sales associate; so much so I had to ask him if he really wanted the guitar. A resounding yes was his reply.
Sterling decided that he had to carry his own guitar to the car. I really wish I had a picture. Using both hands he awkwardly carried the guitar on one side of his body while all his weight was leaning the opposite way. I could tell it was really heavy for him. I asked him if he wanted me to carry it but he refused my help. He then enthusiastically talked about his guitar. I have everything huh Uncky Shawn? I have a case. I have a DVD to watch to learn how to play. I have new strings. Yep, you sure do Sterling I replied.
No sooner than we'd walked in the door of his house Sterling had opened the box and taken everything out. He made a beeline to his room with his guitar and DVD in tow. He emerged a few minutes later to retrieve a sheet of paper and pencil so he could take notes. When the time came for him to sign his contract he came out of his room to show everyone what he had learned.
I guess a star is born. This kid is too much for the people.
By contract Sterling has agreed to practice 5 days a week for a minimun of 15 minutes per session. If not, the guitar will be repossessed by me.
We'll see how this goes.
Tuesday, October 18
Help!!!!
Peyton Manning is killing my fantasy football team. Last season this man set the record for TDs thrown in a season. He was on fire. He threw 49 TDs in 16 games. That's a 3.06 TD avg per game. This season he's thrown 9 TDs through 7 games. That's a 1.2857 avg.
Thanks in part to Manning I have now slumped to a 3-3 record in my fantasy football league. Two consective weeks, I have been beaten by what I call computers, guys that signed up for fantasy football but haven't bothered to keep track of their teams.
Can somebody please help Manning find his mojo. Or better yet provide him with a map to the endzone. I need some freaking TDs.
Thanks in part to Manning I have now slumped to a 3-3 record in my fantasy football league. Two consective weeks, I have been beaten by what I call computers, guys that signed up for fantasy football but haven't bothered to keep track of their teams.
Can somebody please help Manning find his mojo. Or better yet provide him with a map to the endzone. I need some freaking TDs.
Friday, October 14
Thursday, October 13
The Hell Continues
19 minutes of hell didn't go so well today. I feel stiff as a board. After Monday's hell session and Tuesday's Tae bo session my body wasn't really agreeable. Practically everything I told my body to do it wouldn't follow my instructions. I think I made to minute 11 of 19 before my body really started giving me fits. At that point, in total frustration and embarassment, I began an on going conversation with Mari, the video instructor. I can't tell you how many times asked her if she was crazy for wanting me to do this movement or that movement. I mean, this woman told us to lie stretched out on our backs with arms by your side and legs stretched. Then she said flip your legs over head parellel to the floor with your weight supported on your shoulders. Then stretch your legs toward the ceiling in a pike posistion and hold it there. Slow and controlled...supported by your powerhouse (I assume she means my abdomen) ease your body back down to the ground with your legs still pointed towards the ceiling. Woman, are you crazy? I can't do that once let it alone 4 times in a row. I grunted and moaned while attempting to perform aforementioned movement. Without much success I finally gave up during attempt number 3 and said sorry Mari I can't do that today I won't even begin to describe the other 2 movements I bailed out on. All I know is Mari kept telling me to use my powerhouse and my buttocks to hold some crazy contortion when your arms and legs are pointed upward in a V position while your weight is supported by your butt or the tailbone region. Yea. Uh huhn. Not gonna happen. I copped an attitude and regressed to my youth as I whispered under my breath I don't see you doing these moves Mari. There you are just standing behind everybody. Telling everyone else what to do. Oo, I can't stand you. You make me sick.
Happily for me, it is only 19 minutes of hell. I don't think I could stand anything longer.
By the way, I'll be happy when this soreness goes away. Right now I have the walk of a cowboy with jock itch. It ain't pretty.
See ya Friday Mari!
Happily for me, it is only 19 minutes of hell. I don't think I could stand anything longer.
By the way, I'll be happy when this soreness goes away. Right now I have the walk of a cowboy with jock itch. It ain't pretty.
See ya Friday Mari!
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