Ummm...okay!

1. A black guy, and his pal, with a big toothy grin pulled me aside yesterday to ask me my name. I say, "Shawn." He turns to his pal "he sure looks like him, don't he?" "Look like who?" I ask. "Like Ro.dne.y Allen Ri.ppy."

2. The exchange I had with a 20ish, hispanic cashier at the drive thru window at Carl's Jr.:

Her: (big smile) does your hair grow like that naturally?
Me: Um, what do you mean?
Her: you know, its like really curly. Is that how it grows? Or, did you do something to get it to look like that?

I turn my head to look her in the eye to make sure she's not joking and when I realize she isn't -

Me: These aren't curls. These are dreadlocks.
Her: Oh! I didn't know.

3. Ever been so offended that you wanted to cuss somebody out but you couldn't find your words because you're sorta in shock that the person just offended you? Well, that was me yesterday. Y'all know I rarely pass up an opportunity to 'turn this motha out' but this next one had me shaking my head in astonished disbelief for a minute.

As you know, its tax season, so yesterday I dropped off my docs at my acct's office. This is the exchange I had with one of his assistants/secretaries as I am preparing to leave his office.

I've just finished talking to my acct. and now need my parking ticket validated. I walk over to secretary's desk.

Me: (smile) Hey, can you file this doc in my folder?

She looks confused but doesn't say a word as she examines the doc. I'm staring at her trying to get a read on whether or not she's clear on what I need her to do.

Her: don't you...need a copy of this?
Me: No, this is my copy. I want it filed in my folder you guys hold for me here.

She still looks a bit lost.

Me: That's not a problem? We're clear, right?

She nods in agreement. I then pull out my parking ticket

Me: Also, can you validate this?

The other assistant grabs my parking ticket takes it to her desk to stamp.

Me: And last thing, can you call me when my returns are done instead of sending me the postcard notice?

Damn near before I can even finish asking my question she says -

Her: (said with a very serious, no nonsense face) NO! I certainly will not

Immediately my back stiffens, eyes widen and eyebrows raise. I stare at her in total disbelief. I start thinking this is building into a joke. By now, the 2nd assistant has returned to 1st assistant's desk with my validated parking ticket. I now turn to look at her to see if this is some sorta joke they play on all the clients. The 2nd assistant is smiling warmly at me but not in a way that indicates this is one big funny. I wait a beat longer before --

Her: You'll just have to call the office

Me: (directed at 1st asst.) Um...are you serious? (I turn to 2nd asst) is she joking?

My blood is starting to boil and my body is beginning to get a little twitchy from anger.

Her: (pointing down at her desktop) We are really busy. Do you see all this work on my desk? I am not going to call you, you'll have to call us.

I know I'm on the brink of exploding and turning the MOTHA out. I look at her like she's the damn fool that she is, then I turn to look at the 2nd asst again. My acct emerges from his office and breezes by, heading out of the door. I turn to look at fool asst one mo' gin

Me: Woooowww!

I shake my head in disbelief and storm out of the office before I reach the point of no return. I guess my exit must've been pretty loud. My acct stops in his tracks, turns to see me and says -

Him: Hey, Shawn, what's goin' on?
Me: Well, I just asked your asst if she could give me a call when my return was completed and she told me (impression of her) "No. Do you see how busy we are? You'll have to call us."
Him: (shaking his head) We'll call you...don't worry.
Me: Thanks!

And if you're wondering, my acct and his staff are not black.

annoyed...sorta

1. For the life of me I can not get one of my buddies to stop saying "mines." I have tried jokingly correcting him; flat out correcting him; evil glances; stunned, faux horror faces. I'm at a loss. I just don't get it. Is he being stubborn? Is he irritated cause he's an adult and doesn't feel like he should be corrected? Just last week, after 3 straight days of correcting him he said it again. I just refused to send another message to him on IM. I just dropped out of chatting mid conversation.

2. My dear aunt annoyed the hell out of me this past weekend for something rather small. Actually, she didn't do anything. I was just being judgmental. I rented Diary of a Mad Black Woman for her to watch and she was just a laughing/cackling up a storm. Once the movie ended, she's telling me its the best movie she's seen in a while. I'm looking at her like she's nuts. I'm thinking "it could not have been that damn funny." Then I start thinking "you only like this movie cause the lead character is a fat, older black woman that looks like yourself." I just rolled my eyes.

Take That

Tragic Yet Entertaining

Need anymore proof that drugs and alcohol corrode your mind and body?

Yes. A Thousand times YESSSSS!!!!!!!

Cult classic The Last Dragon on sale this week at best buy for 5.99. Y'all already know its going in the DVD collection.


I know you remember my Shonuff pic.

"Whose the master?!?! Shonuff!"

I can't wait to get my hands on that DVD.