Closed Throat

1 Save me, O God,
for the waters have come up to my neck.
2 I sink in the miry depths,
where there is no foothold.
I have come into the deep waters;
the floods engulf me.
3 I am worn out calling for help;
my throat is parched.
My eyes fail,
5 You know my folly, O God;
my guilt is not hidden from you.
13 But I pray to you, O LORD ,
in the time of your favor;
in your great love, O God,
answer me with your sure salvation.
19 You know how I am scorned, disgraced and shamed;
all my enemies are before you.
20 Scorn has broken my heart
and has left me helpless;
29 I am in pain and distress;
may your salvation, O God, protect me
30 I will praise God's name in song
and glorify him with thanksgiving.
31 This will please the LORD more than an ox,
more than a bull with its horns and hoofs.

- Ps 69:1-3,5,13,19-20,29-31 - NIV

23 He who sacrifices thank offerings honors me,
and he prepares the way
so that I may show him the salvation of God.
[Prepares the way to deliverance]

- Ps 50:23 - NIV

Monday morning I received a phone call from a friend asking to pray with me. "I woke up with you on my mind so I called to see what's going on and to ask to pray with you." How nice I thought. "I am worn down; I am worn out. I can't pray." "You aren't giving up?" "I think so." "You can't. Do you know how much God has for you? He showed me things about you. Why do you think he showed me all of those wonderful things about you?" "I don't know. But I am tired." "Let's pray. Let's just praise God." "I can't. I don't have the words." "God has not forsaken you. I want you to know that. You don't think that do you?" "Who knows? But I am too tired to figure it out anymore." "I am going to pray for you as soon as we hang up. Don't give up." "I appreciate you calling man. "

While on the phone Tuesday evening, I happen to turn my tv to TBN and I caught a glimpse of Donnie who was chatting with Dorinda. I don't normally watch TBN but for whatever reason I felt compelled to check their schedule that night. I was only half listening but I am sure I heard Dorinda admonishing everyone on 'not giving up,' or 'throw in the towel.' Further, she encouraged everyone to stand firm in their faith. I chuckled and told my evening caller Dorinda was talking to me.

Friday evening a friend calls and tells me to turn on Joel Osteen's Ministry on TBN. Again, I was half listening but managed to hear him say something to the effect of, "Stand strong in your faith; You're always hit hardest by the enemy right before God blesses." I chuckled inside and thought 'how many times have I heard that? Gee, how simple it is to stand when everything is falling down around you.'

Saturday evening I decided to attend church - it'd been a few weeks - and the message was Bringing God Pleasure. My pastor referenced the aforementioned verses in Psalms. He then explained that God delights in hearing his children praise him during their midnight hour. And more importantly, that praise is the pathway to deliverance. He shared a story about how a former member diagnosed with a severe, debilitating lung condition was miraculously healed while praising God during one of the church's services.

So I guess I am 1) not supposed to give up 2) to understand that the blessing is near (that's why there's so many hardships in my life) 3) to Praise God during the hardships - maybe even more than usual.

Well, if I am not strong enough to stand on my own anymore and my throat feels closed when I open my mouth to pray, what am I to do? Is there hope for me?