Road Rage

"Move bitch, get out the way
Get out the way bitch, get out the way
Move bitch, get out the way
Get out the way bitch, get out the way."
Ludacris

I know YOU know i'm in a hurry and I desperately I am trying to maneuver around YOU. YOU seem to think this little game is fun. Well, not to me it isn't. See, I am anxious to get to where I am going. Where is that? None of your business. That's not the point here. Let's not get off topic - stay focused. If YOU could exercise a modicum of common courtesy, I wouldn't be so frustrated with YOU as I make my way through the mean streets of LA. Seriously, I am having demented dreams of bashing YOUR rear bumper just to drive the point home that YOU are in my way - Get Out The Way! Would it be too much for YOU to get out of the fast lane driving 60 mph? YOU are slowing me and every other like minded driver way, way, way down. We are busy people who don't want to spend our mornings, afternoons and evenings on the highways. We would actually like to fill our day with other activities. Woefully, the only thing standing in the way of accomplishing anything is YOU. It's always YOU. Let me be more clear. I always thinks it's best to give examples of questionable behavior that needs addressing.

YOU:
1) Drive 60 mph in the fast lane and refuse to give way to trailing drivers though their tailgating is an indicator that they would like to drive a bit faster - if they are like me, drive a lot faster. Who gets anywhere driving 60 mph?
2) Feel the need to examine every detail of an accident as you pass by the scene; often times braking and coming to a complete stop so that you can really see what's going; you even brake and examine accident scenes from the opposite side of the freeway - the latter I find most frustrating
3) Drive at exactly the same pace as the vehicle next to you thus trapping me and others behind you in your holding pattern for miles on end
4) Cut me off getting into my driving lane because the vehicle you were trailing was driving a bit too slow then you drive slowly in front of me and I actually have to brake and slow my pace...considerably
5) Refuse to keep up with the flow of traffic during rush hour traffic because you drive a manual shift and hate all that down shifting so you idle in 2nd gear for miles while cars in the lane next to us jump in front of you because you've left so much room between you and the car you are trailing
6) Slam on your brakes for no apparent reason when there's absolutely no traffic in front of you
7) Slow down to a speed that is considerably below the speed limit when you notice Mr. Highway Patrolmen ticketing a fellow driver off to the side of the highway - Buy a clue! He's busy writing a ticket, he's not concerned about you. KEEP IT MOVIN'!

I swear I want to hurt YOU sometimes. YOU have made my life on the highways a living hell. Lucky for YOU I don't want a record, to appear in court or worse spend time in jail. Thus, I am able to restrain myself from following through with my dream of physically moving YOU out of my way with the front bumper of my car.