Have I lost my edge? You know, the perpetual chip the rests comfortably on the shoulders of most black men. I was born with the pissed off black man's bad attitude that gives me a somewhat prickly exterior. I've relish it through the years. It makes people keep their distance. And as crazy as folks are its nice to have an additional wall of defense that pads you from the BS that people send your way. However, it seems I've become a big softie and my prickles are falling off. What 'is' i'm gon' do? This just can't be. Hmmph!
Last week, I watched Gridiron Gang (with The Rock) on DVD and guess what? The movie brought me to tears. No. It wasn't The Rock's performance that did it. All of a sudden I've become a sucker for those coming-of-age, mentor themed movies. Especially, if the central character is black. So I am watching the film, wiping tears from the corners of my eyes and I am thinking "what the hell are you doing? This film isn't THAT moving. What are you doing?" Of course, I had no answer for myself. I chalked it up as a fluke. I told myself not to worry I wasn't getting soft.
Later in the week I found myself dwelling on death and the afterlife. Then it hit me that I have been spending a lot time thinking about that subject this past year. I'm always wondering which one of the relatives will be the next to go. Last week, I started having this strong feeling that my time was nearing. I started wondering if intuition was telling me something. So now, I am feeling like I need to always tell loved ones "I love you" before parting. Sigh! See! More signs of becoming a softie.
Today, strangers wanted to engage me in small talk like never before. "Morning!" "Have you tried this bread before? It's good isn't it?" "Hi!! How are you?" "Have a great day!" Everytime I turned around someone spoke, as if I were exuding friendly vibes. Gasp! Maybe I was! Hence, the fallen off prickles.
Oh god! The horror! I'm the friendly, non-threatening black guy. I'm a softie. My edge is completely gone.
7 comments:
LOL!! What is you gon do?? I didn't think it was a facade because I carry around the same extra layer of defense or in my case: protection. It's real but I think with age we learn that we really don't need that extra layer ... we're okay without it.
How did you see that movie last week? It just came out on DVD two days ago. Or are the release dates different on the west coast?
Bernie Its terrible
Chele ;) Yea, maybe that's it
My local vid store gets the new releases 6 days before their actual release date. They rent the vids as soon as they arrive instead of waiting for the actual release date.
hey there...i like my shawn shaken, not stirred and prickle-less!!!
it's just that your cover is being exposed, the real sensitive you is coming out- now what is you gon' do? Let it shed...
the grump? say it ain't so! LOL!
Babe, I highly doubt you've lost your edge. I just can't fathom that and I've got quite the imagination.
I did rent that movie today, I'll let you know if it brings any tears, lol. :)
Yeah man, it was in your all along :-) Not to top you but I cried during a Christina A. song. The tears just slid right down my face as I was walking to work. What the hell?
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