It's That Time

Fla-va Flaaaavvvv!!! Before I jump into my highlights shout outs to two actors I bumped into at my audition yesterday - Tamela Jones and Joe Clair.

I love the way Tamela plays the 'ghetto girl from the 'hood with a little bit of education.' Nobody does it better. She reminds me of the girls I used to chase after.

I don't know what is about Joe Clair but he always makes me laugh. That big grin he plastered on his face is comical. I told him that damn Dannon Frusion Smoothe commercial cracks me up every time I see it. When he starts singing I fall out.

I see you Carrie Underwood. The Star Spangled Banner at The NFC Championship game was on point.

Did Ann Nesby's granddaughter tear it up on American Idol last night or what? You betta sing!!!

The Flavor of Love - by far the best reality tv show of 2006 - was great this weekend. Where do we begin?

Hottie: How funny are those sound effects they used in this episode to punctuate her eye blinking? Did you peep the outfit she was wearing during the clock ceremony? How do you look at yourself in the mirror and think that outfit is becoming? or sexy on you? God she is clueless. When she put a whole chicken fryer in the microwave to cook I think I lost it for 5 minutes. Are you serious babygirl? The confessional directly following that bonehead move was classic...She declared her vegetable recipe would win her that evening's prize - a date with Flav and his mom. And the recipe? What the hell was all that crap she threw on that damn bird? She had whole carrot stalks, cucumbers and anything else she could find on that chicken...My god woman. She also made mention of how much more sanitary it is to cook chicken in the microwave than too cook it in heavy oil. Hahaha!!! Are you really that dumb woman? Tell me her looking around the table trying to pretend she didn't present a raw, uncooked bird wasn't hysterical? Ok, my friend brought this to my attention: She boasted about graduating from an Ivy League college but never mentioned the school. Why is that? Did she really graduate from one? Last but not least...the jacuzzi, the bathing suit and the measurements

New York: Is just an utter clown. I love it. "Pumkin and Hoopz are sluts trying to sleep with my man." Did you see that lingerie she was wearing? And that walk...Did she really walk into his room trying to be seductive while puffing on a cigarette? Ha!!! Please tell me you caught this quote "He couldn't keep his hands off of me," while they show this fool knocked out snoring his ass off. How 'bout this one. "There's no way I can ready in 30 minutes." 30 minutes later. "I pulled it off and as usual I looked amazing [or fabulous.]" She looked like a complete ass when she told Flav's mom she loved her son. The mom's reaction was way over the top by the way.

Hoopz: scares me now. I still can't believe she'd be into him but her willingness to hug up on him on their date and get into the bed half naked with him has dropped her down a few notches in my eyes. She was excited to be frying some chicken for him, wasn't she? How did the bedroom romp happen anyway? Isn't it a bit suspicious that they've been in the house 4 days by this point and that evening 3 women decided to sneak into his bed...hmmph! Right!! Why didn't they sneak into his bed before that night?

Mama Flav: yuck. Don't know why but she irritates me. I still don't understand how she gon' have a wild ass, uncouth, ignorant and loud child like him and carry herself in such a pious, calm, educated, and well-mannered way. What the hell went wrong in that house? The headband y'all! What was that? How rude was she to Sweetie? Talking about bread rolls while Sweetie was trying to get to know her. I wanted to poke her in one of those big ass eyeballs. I think mama's outfits are hot. I see where Flav gets his fashion sense. Flav is the spitting image of his mom...whoa!!!

Red Oyster: Babygirl, whenever you're ready for the rhythm lessons I am here for you. The church; the off rhythming clapping; the hideous off rhythm double clapping. Hahahaha!!!! Book an appointement ASAP.

Smiley: was really taken with the sermon at church. I suspect there's more to her pain the divorce or....she's still madly in love with that man who dumped her. I caught an older episode yesterday. Noticed in one of the previous clock ceremonies that she has a jiggly walk - but not a sexy beyonce kinda jiggle - a high heels aren't my thing and I am flabby kinda jiggle...Let's tighten that up.

Sweetie: poor, poor thing. She really played herself. Riding Flav like a bronco was definitely the wrong move. She went fromt he innocent catholic school girl to the "ho"-ish catholic school girl in one day...damn that's a dramatic change. I don't know about y'all but sweetie looks like those sisters from the group Five Star to me. Why did she have to tell mama Flav she was a singer? She didn't think that would make her look like an opportunist? That part on the right side of her hair was driving me crazy. I've had a few traumatic events in my life but I don't think cooking a chicken as an adult would've had me boo hooing like this chick just because a live chicken/rooster not a dead one had attacked me as a child. Good grief! Maybe a few tears might've been ok but the water works she turned on was too much. "It's too much honey" as quoted by Jason on Making the Band 3. If you don't know don't ask. Sweetie's combative tete a tete at the clock ceremony was highly appreciated. When she told him his inference that she didn't like him was completely off base and recounted her chicken frying ordeal to him I said "go 'head sista." She totally shocked me when she told him he was joke because some the women he kept in the contest instead her were jokes - and his choice in women were a reflection of him. Whoa!!!! Applause, applause sista...Preach!

Flav: I didn't find him so entertaining this week. He showed more ignorance, more barbarian like eating habits, very poor command of the english language and poor judgement. I thought he showed his ass when he talked about Sweetie being wack then tried to rhyme...You're a clown...get out of here with that. What's really going on with that pimp walk? I wanna break his kneecaps and give him a real reason to walk with a limp. It's amazing that a 46 year old man still carries himself like a 19 year old kid and doesn't recognize how buffoonish he appears. One of my friends, AIM girl, swears he's on crack. What do you think?

Flava-ism of the week: "This is coming from my true feelings"