Yea Boy

The Flavor of Love keeps getting funnier. I know some of you can't bear to watch this show but I swear to you it keeps getting better.

Here's a little recap as told to Tasha by moi through IM:

The episode starts with them waking up looking groggy and unkept. We see a few confessionals...nothing interesting.

Oh oh oh Smiley takes Flav breakfast in bed. He wakes up and starts into this whole. "No other girls did this for me. Thank you" crap. You can tell he's geniunely surprised.

The ladies make their way downstairs to have breakfast. While they're sitting around the country girl, Goldie, asks Hottie about her weave. Hottie tells her she doesn't have a weave. Goldie starts doing her eye bugging and big grin thing then says can I touch. Hottie says with a straight face "you absolutely may not" It was too funny. Goldie makes some comment about Hottie trying to fool her and she's black. She was like "come on now!!!" with her trademark big, toothy grin.

It's quite obvious that Hottie has a weave so this segment is lots of fun. There's a big ass part on the side of Hottie's head for the purpose of hiding the tracks.

The butler guy brings the ladies a note that tells them they're going to vegas. The ladies go crazy screaming in glee. They make a mad dash to get ready for the one day trip. While their grabbing clothes Hottie picks up some kind of sheer shirt with fake rabbit fur trim that is obviously not a suitable article of clothing for her fat ass to be wearing. She smiles as she looks at the top and says something like "perfect." Yikes! I don't think I am ready for all that jelly...again

Everyone piles into a limo that's waiting to take them to the airport where flav is standing next to a private jet on the tarmac in his full ministrel regalia with clock, cane and top hat.

He hear a bunch of confessionals where they talk about how good it is to travel in style...that sorta thing. Hottie with her over the top self says she was so excited when they pulled up to the airport because she saw all of the jets and she immediately thought, "Which one of these is mine?"

She did the eye blink thing where they inserted the dollar signs sound effects again...I don't know why but that just doesn't get old.

When they arrive in vegas Flav tells them to go get settled and shares that he has a surprise waiting for them. The rush to get upstairs to the room/suite...can't remember...when they open the door they see racks of clothes just for them. They all make cooing/squealing sounds then start grabbing everything they can fit into.

They're told they have to meet Flav in the casino. They each find an outfit to wear and make their way to meet up with Flav. In the casino they are issued a challenge to win a date with Flav. In ten minutes they have to win as much money as they can playing roulette. They all tank except Red Oyster, New York, and Pumkin seemingly. Oyster is the first to make a profit with about $100. Then New York does her thing and wins about $400. Pumkin is the last so she knew she needed to outdo New York's $400. Pumkin starts well but tanks in the end. New York is declared the winner. All the girls are pissed that New York has won. Before Pumkin takes her turn gambling, one of the girls says to her something like "you have to win for us all."

Backtrack moments:
Before New York starts gambling, she grinds her ass on flav's dick and bounces up and down...
Smiley is kissing on him...with tongue I believe while gambling
Pumkin was also kissing on me.
I can't remember what the rest of them chicks did to him

So...New York wins...They have their private date. She basically lays her heart out to him in a very dramatic and emotional fashion telling him how he needs a woman that can support him emotionally, spiritually, etc. and professes to be that woman. For good measure she slips in that she loves him. God forbid!!! Everybody needs love so I'll hush. He says she scares him a bit. He doesn't think she can handle the pressure that comes along with being his girl. To paraphrase his words "What are you going to do when I am with other women? When I have my lips on other women?" yes...he said that. She breaks down and is sorta crying at this point. Makes a statement about how she's territorial so its gonna be hard. Anyway, they start kissing. A sped up sequence ensues where the waiters/servers are moving dinner plates and other stuff around while they're kissing passionately. I thought I was gonna be sick. The fast paced sequence ends and a graphic pops on screen "Kiss time = 8:37"

While they're on their date, the other chicks hit the strip club. They act a fool. Everybody's shaking it, attempting to pole dance and having a good time. Someone brings up Red Oyster's tattle telling antics and few voice their displeasure. They wonder aloud if they can really have a good time with her around because they don't know what stuff she's going to report back to him. They throw caution to the wind and keep having a good time.

Later, they meet Flav and New York at the limo where he tells them its time to head back to the mansion. Smiley has a confessional where she states that she was envious of New York. Somebody else makes a comment about how they, New York and Flav that is, looked a like happy couple.

So the next day they are given another challenge. Unfortunately, words can't do the sequence justice. It was very entertaining. I laughed and laughed and laughed some more. The gist of the challenge was exciting all of Flav's senses- touch, sight, etc. He does a bunch of confessionals during this time making himself look dumber than we all believe he really is. For instance, he tells the ladies there are a bunch of 'testses" Yes..he said it.

Ok! So the butler guy brings a blindfolded Flav down the stairs to where the ladies are lined up. He smells each of them and rates them. He says all kinds of off the wall crap. The ladies can barely keep themselves from laughing. He told Pumkin something that has slipped my mind. It was hysterical. Whatever he said she was upset in her confessional. He told one she said smelled like spaghetti sauce another she smelled like broccoli and another she smelled like steak. Steak and broccoli got the highest ratings. I am telling you..you have to see it to believe it. It's pure comedy.

Ok. The next sense is sound. They each had to sing "For the land of the free and the home of the Flav" using the star spangled banner melody as he banged out the accompaniment on piano. Of course none of them could sing except for...you'll never guess. Ok, I'll tell you. Hottie...She got up there are belted it out..She got a bit carried away at the end with her embellishments but she can sing. I was shocked she could something more than make a fool of herself.

The next sense was touch. They each had to let him feel a body part while he stuck his hand(s) through a curtain he was hiding behind. Titties, ass, bellies, the works works were offered for inspection. His reactions and comments were over the top and made this sense fun to watch. All the ladies kept trying to up the ante...comedy

Oh man, I forgot the taste sense. They each had to let him taste a body part. Nipples, foreheads and the like were offered up to his lips for consumption. My words can't do this episode justice I am telling you

The last challenge was sight. They all are instructed to move erotically/seductively behind a silkscreen in silhouette. His nasty, ashy, crunchy toes were apart of the highlights. Yuck! This part was really funny...Pumkin was stiff as a board. Hoopz out did everyone doing the splits and throwing her legs behind her ears. Smiley removed her shirt and let her fake titties sit high and perky. Flav loved it. New York was writhing on all fours when she fell on the floor and embarassed herself. Flav and all the ladies bust out laughing. Funny, funny, funny stuff!!!!

When the points are tallied Smiley is the high woman and wins a private date with Flav. Her date consisted of one on one time with him in the jacuzzi I think. They chatted about all kinds of crap. I think he told her he was glad she won. I was distracted during their dating sequence so that's the best I have for that part.

While that's going on the other ladies are dining/chatting in the kitchen. Someone asks Hottie (I think it was Oyster) whom she thought was going home. Hottie replies "I wouldn't mind seeing New York go." New York, sitting right there, says "Y'all not gon' talk about me like I'm not here." Hottie and New York get into it. Hottie is telling New York she wasn't talking her so she should be quiet. New York does that part from the promo clip "New York is in the mother fuckin' house...deal with it." Hottie makes some remark about New York being crazy because she's waving a knife around. New York makes a few more dramatic over the top statements. Next thing you know Hottie gets up and walks away from the table. Red Oyster tells New York that's the first time she's ever walked away from a argument. Red Oyster is shown in a confessional talking about staying out of the drama but not minding pushing buttons to get certain drama started.

Ok...next we see Oyster using the phone where she receives some bad news from her best friend. She looks devasted but we don't hear what's so distressing.

The clock ceremony follows...Smiley is chosen first then Pumkin, Hoopz, then Goldie. Two clocks are left. It's down to Red Oyster, New York and Hottie. There's great tension. Before he gives out the 2nd to last clock Red Oyster steps forward and tells Flava she has to tell him something. She shares that she received a phone call from her best friend telling her that her father was involved in a serious accident and she is removing herself from the competition because a voice in her head is telling her to go home to be with her family. You see a few confessionals from the other chicks talking about "she didn't say a word to me" and "I had no idea!" Flav being Flav rambles off some of his words of support and encouragement. He tells her to call him if she needs anything and he tells her she was going to receive a clock. They hug and kiss and say goodbye.

She returns to say goodbye to the other ladies. New York tells her she is the only 'bitch' in the house she respected. They hug and kiss. Hottie offers her support to Red Oyster. She says something like "The same thing happened to me in college." Red Oyster cuts her off "Shut Bitch! Don't make this about you!" Oyster finishes her goodbyes then leaves the house

Flav does his toasting and libations for the lost one(s) on the carpet. New York tells him that she wants to know who the last clock was for because she's having a hard time dealing with not knowing if she was going home or staying. She has to know if she was going to be cut. He tells her it doesn't matter if she was staying or going the end result is she's still around so let it go. With that she throws down all the champagne in her glass and we're out.

Clips from next week's episode look absolutely hysterical. Brigitte shows up next week and New York looks none too pleased about it. There are going to be accusations, tantrums and more verbal altercations. I can't wait.

Hands down my Flava moment of the week goes to Red Oyster: "Shut up Bitch! Don't make this about you!"